UGH

I own my own store. I employ people. I had one girl who worked for me who was the most accidental person. The sort of things that happened to her never surprised me but ONLY could happen to her. One time she brushed her teeth with baby lotion (cuz she picked up the wrong tube). One time she got lost going home (because the city had a detour set up). Her car is the sort of car she has to hot wire every once in a while.......

You KNOW this person. Each one of us has one juuuuust like her in our lives. She was mine..... I felt for her and was amused all at the same time. Until she left.............. Now I am sooooooo that person.

I don't want to be that person.

I don't do stupid stuff like the above list. Nah- I just hurt myself every day in one way or another- AND let me add, quite stupidly!!! Proof? Here we go:

The other day at work I was working on a box (explained below) printing off copies..... multiple copies. Which take a lot of toner. Which tends to stink. (especially in a closed in area such as my office). Visualize this please after about 2 hours of constant printing . The STENCH that was fumigating through out my office. Headache building right about now...... One of the sheets had a lot of errors on it. I grab my white out and start covering all of the errors with a lot of white out. Headache getting worse right about now....... We have a file box that we keep paperwork in for this office at another office. I have this box with me (hence the copying and fixing) but the person who works in the other office WITH this box of papers smokes in this office. UGH! I open the box......smoke stench gets out into my office...HEADACHE GETTING EVEN WORSE......... I go to the kitchen , grab the oust and oust the papers in the box....HEADACHE GETTING WORSE. I have to make copies of the paper I used all the white out on now that it had all dried up.... (so I thought. ) There was one spot, a rather large spot, that hadn't dried and when I took the paper out of the copier there was white out all over it. LUCKY ME! I get to go get the nail polish remover and clean it off. HEADACHE IS AT THE ALL TIME WORST RIGHT ABOUT HERE.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Why didn't I just take some aspirin? Why didn't I turn on a fan? Why didn't I leave the room for a while? I know right! DUH!!!! Can anyone say STUPID!??!!! UGH!

Skipping ahead to today...... I had been housing the store birds at a different location as we had pest control come spray for bugs...blah blah blah. Fast forward to today. The day I bring them home. I cage them all up, bring them in, release them from the carrier cages back into their own cages and walk the carriers out back to be hosed down and washed. Yada yada yada....I complete this task and so obviously have to come in to start my day. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that where the hose is out back is rather , um, MUDDY! I wipe my feet- one, two. Good to go........ I pass the threshold and step on to the bare tile and VIOLA I am upside down, side ways and ON MY BUTT!!!!

$%#@$*&^%@%#&$#&%!#@%^*$%&*!^&*)!%@$%^#@&%$#@&!@%&^!#r%(&#$&^#$(@^!#(@^#%@^#%*&@!#^&!@$%&!@#!#%&*!$%&!^$%!#%#^$!

Ok- I so obviously did NOT wipe my feet off really well now did I? UGH

There are so many other case in points but that would simply take away other possible blogs and just simply make you, my reader think "who the hell is this girl that she is just so stupid?" Well, let me answer that right now before we go any further..... I am the NEWLY crowned QUEEN OF THE IDIOTS!!! (not be confused with the recently crowned queen of dorks-she IS all together someone else)

Ok- there it is....today's confessional of pain. I am learning that my pain amuses yall, and I guess I can say thank you for that? I am happy to share....... If you cant laugh at yourself........... well, hell you should- cuz someone else will!!

till next time

XO XO

-M