Tuesday, March 31, 2009

How does this crap keep happening to me?


You asked for it.

I was not gonna write this as I simply thought it a bit unnecessary but as it continued I couldn't laugh quietly and tears were rolling down my face............ here it go:

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved pita bread! She became a lucky girl one day when she drove by a new restaurant in her town called The Pita Pit. Yummmmmmy! Delish and healthy..... that is where I want to eat.

So she convinced her husband to try it ,and asked her friends if any of them had. Only one had and she said there was soooo much mustard on it that it was gross..... But this lucky little girl tried it anyway.

O K long story short(er) they did eat there but the sandwiches were less then great. For 2 pitas, 1 bag of chips and a smoothie.... it came to over $22.00....... UGH! Ok- whatever. Not a problem.......yum yum yum eat eat eat. um, um, um......why is my stomach talking to me? I was still hungry. We were both still hungry. (This is a quote from a letter later sent) We are not all you can eat folk. We should NOT still be hungry. But we are. I decide to let my friends know of my experience and the more I thought about it....... I let the mgr know as well. Actually what I did was send them a two page fax including a print out copy of what I sent my friends and a cover page with a little more detail.

I am expecting a phone call and am just not getting it.....ok, maybe there is no mgr on duty right now...... but BAM I get an email. This dude not only calls me out on my sarcasm but he proceeds to email my friends as their email addresses were on the print out. I would never have thought to do that!!!! Anyway he pretty much tells me stuff happens and from business owner to business owner surely I understand that. THAT wasn't the issue. I wasn't looking for anything free. I wasn't looking for anything other than just to let them know OUR experience. THAT'S IT.

I get an email from one of my friends who tells me she almost replied to me but then realized he would get a copy THIS IS WHEN I REALIZE WHO EXACTLY HE EMAILED. So, I email him back, once again explaining that I do understand as stuff happens blah blah blah.....

Girlfriend #2 emails him a short scathing note about how she didn't appreciate getting an email from him........ Girlfriend #3 is flabbergasted that he now has her email address.......all the while exposing our not so nice nicknames for one another.....

This goes on for a while and we are going back & forth (my friends and I) but in a few of them we cc all and I think he was getting some of out correspondence between ourselves......

So at this point I am a bit embarrassed. Tears are rolling down my face from laughing so hard. I cant laugh quiet any longer and am making noises like I should be beaker form the Muppet's or something... AHHHHHHH my cheeks hurt.

Anyway, now that the nonsense has settled, and I do realize I am a business owner in the same town that he is um, I am a bit embarrassed. Who said free pitas free pitas? I thin it is a quote by the queen of the dorks. Free mustard samiches for everyone!!!! wooohoooooooo

And to think, I didn't have a blog topic this morning...........

oh well-till next time

xoxo

-M

Monday, March 30, 2009

I am sorry....WHAT just happened?


So there are two couples in a bar minding their own business on Saturday night. Eating, talking, sharing and just keeping to their own....(well, for the most part. One may have said that she was a reporter for a local magazine and that was why she was snapping all the pictures.) That is 100% beside the point however.
Anyway, as the night progresses, the two couples have a few drinks, and are really into their surroundings. A bunch of people are showing up all dressed up and these few were a bit more casually dressed. There is no further point that will be made about the clothing and attire, so I don't know why I even wrote that. The one lady however, sitting with her back to the bar, the crowd and to the entire establishment, is the one this tale of WHOA! is about.
Ok- I will admit, The lady reporter sitting like this is me. Little ol' me.
If you were a person on the west side of the building, you would have to pass me to go to the bathroom, the dance floor, the exit- whatever. And there was this guy who traveled that direction (and back I think) a few too many times that night. He walked by to go...... well to the other side of me and was swinging his arms a bit much. He makes it from one side of me to the other when WHOA!!! My friends husband looks at me and says "did you just get felt up?" my answer...."Um, yeah I think I did....."
This happened a total of 3 times by that one guy that night. I don't know if he was even cute as I was really a bit more concentrated on looking shocked.
I cant even say that I liked it. He was such a slyyyy guy! sneaky sneaky!
Um, pickup line tip: guys- if this is your weapon of choice to get a girl to notice you- it didn't work. If it was a cheap way to thrill yourself..."Lets see how many times I can touch her boobs." Come on- how old are we? NOT the best way to gain attention.
Aw hell- I got a great blog idea out of it and WOW will my article be a winner. So when you see this story in your local magazine you will know it was me. It is a good thing I don't remember getting HIS picture that night.
Til next time (hands to yourself)
XO XO
-m

Friday, March 27, 2009

what IS beauty?





Some would say a perfect face. Some would say a perfect body. Some would say a perfect sun scape. A beautiful landscape, great architecture, a nice smile,silence in the middle of a hectic day, a mickey d's after a long diet......There are far too many sides to that coin. So I asked a few people for their responses......


One response was simply stated as "grace" so I looked that up for a better understanding. As per wikepedia:

1. Seemingly effortless beauty or charm of movement, form, or proportion.
2. A characteristic or quality pleasing for its charm or refinement.
3. A sense of fitness or propriety.
4.
a. A disposition to be generous or helpful; goodwill.
b. Mercy; clemency.
5. A favor rendered by one who need not do so; indulgence.
6. A temporary immunity or exemption; a reprieve.
7. Graces Greek & Roman Mythology Three sister goddesses, known in Greek mythology as Aglaia, Euphrosyne, and Thalia, who dispense charm and beauty.
8.
a. Divine love and protection bestowed freely on people.
b. The state of being protected or sanctified by the favor of God.
c. An excellence or power granted by God.
9. A short prayer of blessing or thanksgiving said before or after a meal.
10. Grace Used with His, Her, or Your as a title and form of address for a duke, duchess, or archbishop.
11. Music An appoggiatura, trill, or other musical ornanment in the music of 16th and 17th century England.


Another response I got was Blonde. I don't need to look that word up. Allow your imagination to do what it will.

Farrah Fawcett in her 20's

The way a womans legs give proper length to their body

And sunrises, sunsets, blue skys and billowy white clouds.


My response: well,to me the following link is beauty in its rarest .......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDQ04uHn9nE as in MY opinion there is nothing more beautiful than a well written song. A story that moves you so much that you are part of it. Every time I hear this song, I have to stop what I am doing- close my eyes and FEEL it. I am very musical and to me that is beauty. Few songs move me quite that way. And when one does, I love it. Some of you may not agree with that and you are entitled to that opinion. I heard this song twice today so I knew I had to write this........ I was "MOVED" to do so.


In any case- no matter what beauty is to you, have it in your life. Every chance you get to be around it do so. You will be that much better for it.


till next time


XOXO


-M

ps (this is so funny I had to add it on...) All the women I asked answered teh question no problem. the men ALL asked if it was a trick question..... go figure.

UGH


I own my own store. I employ people. I had one girl who worked for me who was the most accidental person. The sort of things that happened to her never surprised me but ONLY could happen to her. One time she brushed her teeth with baby lotion (cuz she picked up the wrong tube). One time she got lost going home (because the city had a detour set up). Her car is the sort of car she has to hot wire every once in a while.......
You KNOW this person. Each one of us has one juuuuust like her in our lives. She was mine..... I felt for her and was amused all at the same time. Until she left.............. Now I am sooooooo that person.
I don't want to be that person.
I don't do stupid stuff like the above list. Nah- I just hurt myself every day in one way or another- AND let me add, quite stupidly!!! Proof? Here we go:
The other day at work I was working on a box (explained below) printing off copies..... multiple copies. Which take a lot of toner. Which tends to stink. (especially in a closed in area such as my office). Visualize this please after about 2 hours of constant printing . The STENCH that was fumigating through out my office. Headache building right about now...... One of the sheets had a lot of errors on it. I grab my white out and start covering all of the errors with a lot of white out. Headache getting worse right about now....... We have a file box that we keep paperwork in for this office at another office. I have this box with me (hence the copying and fixing) but the person who works in the other office WITH this box of papers smokes in this office. UGH! I open the box......smoke stench gets out into my office...HEADACHE GETTING EVEN WORSE......... I go to the kitchen , grab the oust and oust the papers in the box....HEADACHE GETTING WORSE. I have to make copies of the paper I used all the white out on now that it had all dried up.... (so I thought. ) There was one spot, a rather large spot, that hadn't dried and when I took the paper out of the copier there was white out all over it. LUCKY ME! I get to go get the nail polish remover and clean it off. HEADACHE IS AT THE ALL TIME WORST RIGHT ABOUT HERE.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Why didn't I just take some aspirin? Why didn't I turn on a fan? Why didn't I leave the room for a while? I know right! DUH!!!! Can anyone say STUPID!??!!! UGH!
Skipping ahead to today...... I had been housing the store birds at a different location as we had pest control come spray for bugs...blah blah blah. Fast forward to today. The day I bring them home. I cage them all up, bring them in, release them from the carrier cages back into their own cages and walk the carriers out back to be hosed down and washed. Yada yada yada....I complete this task and so obviously have to come in to start my day. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that where the hose is out back is rather , um, MUDDY! I wipe my feet- one, two. Good to go........ I pass the threshold and step on to the bare tile and VIOLA I am upside down, side ways and ON MY BUTT!!!!
$%#@$*&^%@%#&$#&%!#@%^*$%&*!^&*)!%@$%^#@&%$#@&!@%&^!#r%(&#$&^#$(@^!#(@^#%@^#%*&@!#^&!@$%&!@#!#%&*!$%&!^$%!#%#^$!
Ok- I so obviously did NOT wipe my feet off really well now did I? UGH
There are so many other case in points but that would simply take away other possible blogs and just simply make you, my reader think "who the hell is this girl that she is just so stupid?" Well, let me answer that right now before we go any further..... I am the NEWLY crowned QUEEN OF THE IDIOTS!!! (not be confused with the recently crowned queen of dorks-she IS all together someone else)
Ok- there it is....today's confessional of pain. I am learning that my pain amuses yall, and I guess I can say thank you for that? I am happy to share....... If you cant laugh at yourself........... well, hell you should- cuz someone else will!!
till next time
XO XO
-M

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Todays Inner bitch thought


"If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have gotten anywhere" -Marilyn Monroe

Ok, so I like to quote people. But that only shows that others have gone through whatever you go through. On a day to day we go through our lives, paying attention to the rules set forth for us and hoping we don't offend anyone. Let me ask you though- what good is that? Now don't get me wrong, I am an avid rule follower. I am speaking 100% out of experience. I have lived out of fear my entire life and its sort of inhibiting.

Marilyn Monroe has left SUCH a legacy she will NEVER be forgotten. Let me ask you, whats your legacy?

There comes a time in everyones life where they are at that crossroads. And either you happily go down one direction by choice, or you sell your soul to the devil to go another direction. Eventually learning it may not have the everlasting effect you wish it did. Either way, we as a race are never happy with what we have. We are never happy with our choices or their outcomes. The grass is always greener on the other side??

Why does it have to be like that though? We can be what we choose to be. We are our own destiny. We write our own pages....... of our own story. Although it is predetermined by the higher up- the choices are there for us to make. Why can't they make us happy? Why is settling for what will just make us happy be good enough.

Why are we always trying to do better? Let today be a turning point. Let it be a new day. Enjoy who you are, where you are and what you are. And if you can't do that-may I suggest you find what will make it possible.

XOXO

til next time

-M

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

YOU ARE A STAR!!!!!


I am flipping channels last night on the TV as my normal shows are not on because the president was addressing the union again. I watched a bit of it but got bored by the repetition of his comments.... I was getting frustrated. SO, I start flipping channels and I land on this show hosted by Ru Paul- queen bee extraordinaire... Sort of a drag queens next top model named "Ru Pauls Drag Race" where she was looking to crown the next big drag queen. Never seen the show before- didn't know it existed. But couldn't turn the channel.
They amuse me so.
I like to be entertained and drag queens so do that to me..... And what makes it worse is how do those MEN get to lookin so much more glamorous and beautiful than most women????? Its absolutly outrageous!
Anyway, the episode I watched was the season finale...she crowned the next Queen and the credits rolled. BUT- I hung around a bit longer and they did a bring the cast back in to confront one another show............. WOW can those men cry!!! It actually was a bit amazing. One of the queens was telling the judges that she was made to feel like a loser EVERY time she walked on stage. RuPaul quickly jumped to the defense of the judges by simply saying "This is TV honey. There has to be ups and downs! If you walked away feeling badly about yourself its because you allowed it to be. Your a contestant, these are judges. The fact of the matter is, YOU forgot you are wonderful. YOU DID."
Wow.
I must say I was actually taken back by her words...... so blatent and open to the fact that you can't give a damn about what other people think. You can't waste your time worried about how other people perceive you. If you are comfortable in your own skin, that is all that matters. You take what they say as an issue THEY have and let it roll of your backs. Or in the words of Ru Paul "Bring it on Bitches!!!"
There you have it.
Inner bitch fashion tip : If you entering a drag race- make sure you tuck properly....... no one wants to see a gorgeous girl "packing"
Til next time
XO XO
-M

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

I can't believe I forgot this!!!!

Ok- so the last few blogs have been real information and not just silliness. That is because nothing wonderful has happened that was worth writing about. (Or we will say I made myself forget....until my darling Penny reminded me of it)

We go to yoga last Saturday at the Sebastian ashram. You must remove your shoes before entering and you MUST be quiet to "focus on your breath" and such...... Ok..... I can do that. I don't have a yoga mat of my own YET, so I borrowed one of theirs. No big. We are doing bridge and mad cat and all sorts of wonderful moves. It is going great. The teacher then states, "we are now to roll over on our belly's and corpse lay" From there we did some sit in a 90 degree angle with our faces pressed to the earth and our hands extended outwards from our bodies....... The position is fine... I can't stop thinking to myself though "UGH I have got to get my own mat. This mat smells like FEET."

And it DID. I was once again holding in my gags. Press your face to the earth on a mat that smells like feet and relax? Um, I don't think so................concentrate on your breath and your nostrils.......we will say that was NOT hard to do. Even if she had not said for us to, there was nothing else I could do.

I get home and am talking to Lance about the class and he so lovingly says to me "Michelle, please take a shower, you smell like feet."
I just LOVE my husband.
Alright- I have to wash my face again. Just the thoughts of that are making me sick.....
until next time

xo xo
-m

Monday, March 23, 2009

Inner bitch food for thought


You're braver than you belive, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!


That is something the boy named Christopher Robin told his friend Pooh one sunny afternoon in the Hundred Acre Woods. It seems like smart words coming from a youth. Maybe we all need to step back and think more like we did when we were kids. When we could DO anything. Be anything. Go anywhere. Nothing had limits. The world was curious to us. Why is it that as we grow into adults, we lose such way of thinking?


This weeks self challenge: go do something you have not done in a while or that you have been putting off. Fear of the world, of yourself, or what others may think is a terrible reason to NOT. Then comment to me what you did, why you chose it and the outcome.........

I am under 130 FINALLY


Ok, I have weighed myself over and over for the last few weeks and I couldnt understand it. I was maintaining a straight 130 and ARGH it was frustrating. I couldn't understand why? I have been working out, strength training, i have given up ALL caffeine (which meansplainly I am not eating sweets nor am I drinking soda all day) so WHY WHY WHY??????

But then, as a miracle of God, I weighed myself this weekend and VIOLA- I have lost some pounds. I like to think partly becasue I have traded my soda and chocolate in for water and yogurt. I want to share some knowledge about yogurt that most people dont know...... It is sooo yummy but there are SOOOOO many reasons you should eat it too.
Yogurt is a fermented dairy product made by adding bacterial cultures to milk, which causes the transformation of the milk's sugar, lactose, into lactic acid. This process gives yogurt its refreshingly tart flavor and unique pudding-like texture, a quality that is reflected in its original Turkish name, Yoghurmak, which means "to thicken". The lactic acid bacteria that are traditionally used to make yogurt-Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermophilus-also confer on yogurt many of its health benefits.

Health Benefits
Our food ranking system qualified yogurt as a very good source of
calcium, phosphorus, riboflavin-vitamin B2 and iodine. Yogurt also emerged from our analysis as a good source of vitamin B12, pantothenic acid-vitamin B5, zinc, potassium, protein and molybdenum. These 10 nutrients alone would make yogurt a health-supportive food. But some of the most interesting health information about yogurt comes from a different context-its potential inclusion of live bacteria.
Yogurt for A Longer Life
The highest quality yogurt in your grocery store contains live bacteria that provides a host of health benefits. Yogurt that contains live bacterial cultures may help you to live longer, and may fortify your immune system. Research studies have shown that increased yogurt consumption, particularly in immunocompromised populations such as the elderly, may enhance the immune response, which would in turn increase resistance to immune-related diseases.

Eating yogurt may help to prevent vaginal yeast infections. In one study, women who had frequent yeast infections ate 8 ounces of yogurt daily for 6 months. Researchers reported that a threefold decrease in infections was seen in these women.
Yogurt Boosts Immune Response Lactobacillus casei, a strain of friendly bacteria found in cultured foods like yogurt and kefir, significantly improved the immune response and ability to fight off pneumonia in an animal study published in the Journal of Nutrition.
A human study has confirmed that a daily serving of probiotic-rich yogurt bolsters your body's ability to protect you from infection.
Daily consumption of yogurt- both conventional, commercially available yogurt and probiotic yogurt (yogurt containing health-promoting bacteria)-stimulated cellular immunity in a study involving 33 healthy women aged 22-29 years.
Cellular immunity-our immune system's first line of defense-involves special white cells which serve as our body's primary means of protection against infection by viruses, yeasts, and parasites. In addition, cellular immunity is also critical in preventing the development of cancer.
In addition, not only did the ability of immune cells to effectively kill pathogens increased following intake of the yogurt, but this effect persisted in the washout period after the women had stopped their daily yogurt consumption. These results suggest that enjoying a daily cup of yogurt-either conventional or probiotic-may boost immune function.
Yogurt Lowers LDL, Raises HDL Cholesterol
Daily consumption of 3 ounces of probiotic yogurt significantly improved the cholesterol profile, lowering LDL (bad) cholesterol while raising HDL (good) cholesterol, in women volunteers.

Yogurt, Specifically, Significantly Increases Fat Loss
In just 3 months, 16 obese men and women on a reduced calorie diet that included three daily portions of yogurt lost 61% more fat and 81% more abdominal fat than 18 obese subjects assigned to a diet with the same number of calories but little or no dairy products and low amounts of calcium.
Not only did those in the yogurt group lose more fat, especially around their waistlines, but they also retained more lean, muscle tissue than subjects on the yoghurt-free diet.
How yogurt promotes fat loss while preserving muscle is still a matter of debate. It may be due to the fact that calcium reduces fat cells' ability to store fat, so cells burn more, and less is produced in the liver. Or, it may be due to the branched chain amino acids present in dairy products. Regardless, this study, published in the International Journal of Obesity, indicates that adding one or two servings of yogurt to your daily diet can help you maximize loss of fat and minimize loss of muscle-the optimal outcome for any diet.
Calcium-rich Dairy Foods Boost the Body's Fat Burning After a Meal
Yet another study suggests those ads linking a daily cup of yogurt to a slimmer silhouette have a real basis in scientific fact. Research published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition not only confirms earlier studies showing a calcium-rich diet is associated with fat loss, but may help explain why.
Normal-weight women ranging in age from 18-30 years were randomly assigned to a low (less than 800 mg per day) or high (1000-1400 mg per day) calcium diet for 1 year, and the rate at which their bodies burned fat after a meal was assessed at the beginning and end of the study.
After 1 year, fat oxidation (burning) was 20 times higher in women eating the high calcium diet compared to those in the low-calcium control group (0.10 vs. 0.06 gram per minute).
The women's blood levels of parathyroid hormone were also checked and were found to correlate with their rate of fat oxidation. (The primary function of parathyroid hormone is to maintain normal levels of calcium in the body. When calcium levels drop too low, parathyroid hormone is secreted to instruct bone cells to release calcium into the bloodstream.)
Higher blood levels of parathyroid hormone were associated with a lower rate of fat oxidation and lower dietary calcium intake, while lower blood levels of parathyroid hormone levels were seen in the women consuming a diet high in calcium, who were burning fat more rapidly after a meal. So, it appears that a high-calcium diet increases fat oxidation, at least in part, by lessening the need for parathyroid hormone secretion, thus keeping blood levels of the hormone low.
Boost the Body's Ability to Build Bone
It's not just its calcium that makes yogurt a bone-friendly food, cow's milk and fermented milk products such as yogurt and kefir also contain lactoferrin, an iron-binding protein that boosts the growth and activity of osteoblasts (the cells that build bone).
Not only does lactoferrin increase osteoblast differentiation, it also reduces the rate at which these cells die by up to 50-70%, and decreases the formation of osteoclasts (the cells responsible for breaking down bone) thus helping to prevent or reverse osteoporosis. In addition, lactoferrin also increases the proliferation of chondocytes, the cells that build cartilage. For building bone, enjoying both milk and yogurt seems a good idea since lactoferrin's effects were found to be dose-dependent, stimulating an up to a 5-fold increase in osteoblasts at higher doses.
Help Prevent and Heal Arthritis
Lactobacillus, a probiotic (friendly) bacteria found in yogurt offers "remarkable preventive and curative" effects on arthritis, say Israeli researchers in a study published in the Journal of Nutrition.
Because lactobacillus has already demonstrated beneficial effects in other inflammatory diseases such as inflammatory bowel disorders, researchers thought it might also lessen the inflammation of arthritis. To find out, they ran two groups of animal experiments.
In both sets of experiments, laboratory animals fed the yogurt with large amounts of lactobacilli had the least amount of arthritic inflammation, while those fed plain yogurt experienced only moderate inflammation. The animals that received just lactobacillus, even heat-killed lactobacillus, also showed significant benefit. Milk, however, had no effect. So impressed were the researchers with the study's results that they recommended trials using commercial yogurts containing lactobacilli in arthritic patients.
Protection against UlcersHelicobater pylori the bacterium responsible for most ulcers, can be shut down by yogurt, suggests a study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition. In this study, for six weeks, 48 adult volunteers infected with H. pylori ate yogurt containing the probiotic bacteria Lactobaciullus acidophilus and Bifidobacterium lactis twice daily after a meal, while 11 others received a milk placebo. After eight weeks, subjects were given the C-urea breath test, which measures the amount of urease, an enzyme used by H.pylori to allow it to penetrate and infect the stomach lining. In those receiving the yogurt containing probiotics, H.pylori activity was effectively suppressed.
Reduce Your Risk of Colorectal Cancer
Although we've focused on the benefits of low-fat yogurt, a study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition indicates that enjoying full-fat yogurt and other full-fat dairy foods, such as whole milk, kefir, cheese, cream, sour cream and butter, may significantly reduce risk for colorectal cancer.
Although high in saturated fat, these dairy foods contain a number of potentially cancer-preventive factors, including a protective fat called conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which has also been shown to be cardioprotective.
In this study, over 60,000 women aged 40-76 years were followed during an average of 14.8 years. Those women who ate at least 4 servings of high-fat dairy foods each day were found to have a 41% lower risk of colorectal cancer compared to women eating less than a serving of high-fat dairy foods daily.
For each increment of 2 servings of high-fat dairy foods a woman consumed each day, her risk of colorectal cancer dropped 13%. So, while research continues to indicate that it is wise to limit your intake of saturated fat by cutting back on servings of high-fat meats, enjoying full-fat versions of yogurt and other dairy products may actually be protective.
For Fresh Breath and a Healthy Mouth, Eat Yogurt
Consuming just 3.2 ounces (90 grams) of yogurt twice a day not only lowers levels of hydrogen sulfide and other volatile sulfide compounds responsible for bad breath, but may also eliminate tongue-coating bacteria and reduce dental plaque formation, cavities, and risk for gingivitis. The sugar-free yogurt eaten by 24 volunteers in this 6-week study was fermented with two strains of probiotic (friendly) bacteria: streptococci and lactobacilli.
Be careful when selecting yogurt and choose yogurts that contain live cultures-highest quality prodcts will often indicate exactly how many live bacteria are contained in the product. Lactobacillus bulgaricus and Streptococcus thermopholis are the lactic acid bacteria usually used to make yogurt in the United States.
meal tip: Here are just a few ways to enjoy yogurt: Top your daily cup of yogurt with a quarter-cup of granola, a handful of nuts, and some frozen berries or dried fruit for a quick, delicious and sustaining breakfast. Creamy yogurt, chives, and freshly ground sea salt and pepper make a great topping for baked potatoes, yams or other cooked vegetables. For a creamy salad dressing or vegetable dip, just mix a cup of yogurt with a quarter cup of extra virgin olive oil and your favorite herbs and spices
The take-home message: adding a daily cup of yogurt-preferably a yogurt with probiotic bacteria-to your healthy way of eating is an easy and delicious way to improve your cholesterol profile.

Friday, March 20, 2009

The truth about acai berry


This is it!!! The magical fruit all of Hollywood is talking about. Before I begin my story, let me start by stating that it was branches of the acai berry plant that was dipped in gold when they were carrying the ark to water......... It is as old as the Bible.
That being said I am at a tossup as to if it is heavens miracle diet fruit or not. As any woman does, I am always looking for the next great health booster fruit. Something that will make me a wonder woman of sorts in health, simply by taking it. But I do believe, this actually IS it.

Acai Berry Benefits
Acai isn’t called nature’s perfect food for nothing. Below are just some of the health benefits that research has shown you can get from consuming the acai berry.
Acai Berry Increases Energy & Stamina
Jiu-jitsu fighters and soccer players in Brazil often have a large meal of acai berry pulp before a competition. Why? Aside from being a perfect source of nutrition and carbohydrates, the high levels of antioxidants in the acai berry lead to a drastic increase in energy levels and stamina. Taken on a regular basis, the acai berry strengthens the immune system to the point where the body isn’t constantly fighting off infections and disease. This frees up even more energy for other uses.
Acai Berry Fights Cancer & Disease
Free radicals are nasty little molecules that come from pollutants, pesticides, cigarette smoke, etc. They attack the cells in the body, cause diseases, and can even damage DNA. Antioxidants are the body’s fuel for strengthening cells and fighting off free radicals. As you know by now, the acai berry is jam packed with these powerful antioxidants.
There are some exciting studies regarding the acai berry’s ability to fight cancer.
Acai Berry Fights Obesity
The acai berry's natural combination of antioxidants, essential fatty acids, amino acids, phytosterols, and amino acids work together to help your body function better, process food easier, and burn fat more efficiently. It's one of the best things you can put into your body to keep it healthy. Subsequently, when your body is healthy and well-balanced, it will be much easier for you to reach your perfect weight.
Acai Berry Boosts the Immune System
The powerful antioxidants in the acai berry antioxidants in the acai berry, combined with the essential fatty acids, work as an anti-bacterial and anti-viral agent while simultaneously boosting the immune system.
Acai Berry Maintains Good Cholesterol & Fights Heart Disease
The essential fatty acids and antioxidants in the acai berry fight bad cholesterol (LDL) while simultaneously maintaining good cholesterol (HDL) and fighting heart disease. The same fatty acids also aid in the absorbency of necessary vitamins like Vitamin A, E, D, and K.
The acai berry also contains phytosterols, a group of plant phytochemicals that reduce cholesterol absorption in the intestines. Studies show that these plant compounds can reduce cholesterol in humans by up to 15%
Acai Berry Improves Vision
British pilots in World War II reportedly ate large amounts of bilberry jam before dangerous missions as they swore it drastically improved their night vision. Billberry is also popular in Japan where it is used to relieve eye strain from excessive staring at computer monitors. Modern scientists have tracked these results down to a rare type of antioxidant in the bilberry called “anthocyanins”. Not surprisingly, these antioxidants are also found in the acai berry.
On a somewhat related note, other antioxidants in the acai berry fight various eye related diseases like glaucoma and macular degeneration.
Acai Berry Helps With Digestion
The acai berry contains enzymes and other vital nutrients that aid in the digestion process. A functioning digestive system will not be plagued with acid reflux and other ailments. Acai also contains a healthy amount of fiber which helps your digestive tract process food.
Acai Berry Promotes a More Peaceful Sleep
Your ability to sleep can be frequently affected by stressed muscles. Acai contains amino acids that relax your muscles and allow for a more restful sleep. It also contains Vitamin B which helps to regulate the dopamine and serotonin (both neurotransmitters that impact sleep) production in the brain.
All that being said- take it as directed!! ONLY. Too much is NOT a good thing............... I know. I bought some recently that I didnt check the expiration date on and left myself literally 2 days to drink 7 days worth. As it is not cheap, I drank it all in one sitting. IF YOU DO THAT YOU BEST BE SOMEWHERE CLOSE TO A POTTY WITHIN AN HOUR OF TAKING IT. That is all I am gonna say. (also make sure that your near one for the reast of the day as while I write this, it is 6pm..... I drank it at 1 and I am still gurgling in the pit of my stomach!!!)
I think I lost 6 lbs just this afternoon alone WHEW
**Health note: this is not a game. I did not do it on purpose. I do not condone over taking this fruit as ANYTHING can be bad if not taken in moderation. You need to be careful when dieting, or taking anything ............follow all instructions according to your doctor.
**substitute purpose note: If you do have issues with B.M.'s in any day- this would be an inexpensive ONE TIME cleanse...........
there you have it.
-m

the boy who wanted to be a super..........

Ok- so I was talking to my son about yesterdays blog and he quickly started asking questions. What was his super power? What was daddys? What was anyone and everyone listed. I had to quickly explain to him that wasn't at all the type of hero story I wrote. He just couldn't wrap his brain around why I would write a story about heros without divulging ALL specifications about each and every one of the characters........... He then started getting huffy about how he wasn't really even listed so I told him todays blog would be a concentrated effort about my son the superhero (oh, wait he then decided he wanted to be a super villain)....................................
Lets see if I get all this right: SUPER TRISTAN has super strength, there was something about ripping doc oc's arms off, something about grabbing rhino by his horn and ripping his horns off too..... then he said he would get in a fight with spiderman for some reason. Lets see if I can come up with something a bit more complete and creative that will do my boy wonder justice.....
Once upon a time, there was a 9 yr old boy. He was a regular 9 yr old boy to the outside world, but what no one knew was that by night- when everyone was asleep, it was he who protected the earth. He battled demons as they are real as shown on Supernatural (which is a smart way for the heros of the world to entertain the masses while showing what really does exist). He battled The Underminer as The Incredibles never had the opprotunity to do so. He battled Two Face as Batman never really killed him. He took on Rhino, Sandman and Doc Oc as Spiderman is simply not as strong as this little boy to really prevent them from coming back.
This little boy was such a saving grace that on his 10th birthday, all his friends and family threw him a huge party celebrating how happy they were just to be around him.
But unexpectedly, right in the middle of the party his arch nemesis showed up and together they fought a battle so huge that the adults simply thought they were playing around.
At the end of the party, all of SUPER TRISTANS friends thanked him for letting them come and they all went home........ Tristans mommy tucked him to bed that night and kissed him on the head telling him how much she loved him and wished him the final happy birthday of the day. She then climbed into bed and fell fast asleep. All the while not knowing that her 10 yr old son had slipped out of the house not AS her son but as SUPER TRISTAN. Off to battle the evil that surrounds the world at night while we all sleep so soundly.
I am happy I am safe........
(wink wink)
THE END

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Is it a bird? Or a plane?

Duh duh na naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why is it that all superhero figures have to stand feet apart, and fists on their hips with such majestic looks to their faces while their heads are pointed to the sky? When in all reality, mine doesn't look ANYTHING like that! In fact, if he was to stand like that I would probably start laughing out loud.
Mine- well let's see, how DO I describe him? He is a short wearing, shaven headed, corn fed white boy whose hair is turning gray as he ages. He takes longer then I do to get ready so I can't say he is faster than the speed of lightning. If he jumps too far he pulls a muscle so I can't say he leaps higher than tall buildings. But he does always tend to know when I need him.
He is always there to help me when I am in trouble and he always catches me when I fall. He is stronger than any one I know as he puts up with all the day to day crime brought about by his nemesis GRUMPY! (Or any of the other members of the evil world we live in)
Do I feel like Lois Lane from Superman as I am reporting all this day to day action? Na- I really feel more like Mary Jane from Spiderman who triumphantly marries a superhero of her own and does her best to support his cause.
This is how I see a good marriage. They take two parties that have an equal amount of NEED and want to cooperate in their said cause. Good marriages are so beautiful to watch because much like a good superhero movie, when orchestrated properly- are eventful and entertaining to the masses. I thank God every night I have one.
But then there are the unsung superheros behind our day to day protectors. In my movie I have this list of villaneous male cousins who use trickery and sarcasm as their weapon against my superhero- which he battles whenever they are around with as much failure as he has success. These characters are repeat actors in our saga and I don't think they will ever be beaten or defeated 100%. There is a list of super men and women behind him too, that taught him the tools he would need - when and how to use them, and most importantly how to pick your battles. They taught him that a superhero can only be super if he knows which villans to choose and which to leave for others to conquer on their own. If it weren't for the people behind my superhero, he wouldn't be so super. They have schooled him into the person he is and I am thankful they played such a part in our lives. Even as they have all un leashed my superhero on to the world on his own, they are all still doing great deeds too. The world really does need more superheros!

Superhero fashion tip: Tights are NEVER ok for men to wear. These should be left for the female heros of the world ONLY. Capes also NEVER a good idea- from what I hear they catch drafts and can be rather dangerous. If left too long, one could trip and fall and just look silly. Masks- as everyone wears them, I believe they are ok. Makeup- also should be left for the female heros of the world. Its not about how your dressed- but who you are that makes you a superhero!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My very own SLICE OF HEAVEN


I hate oatmeal
I hate non white bread
A friend of mine mentioned a yummy sandwich she had on this bread...another friend of mine has a new good for you meal plan and oatmeal is on it THIS WOULD WORK RIGHT?....ok- hook line and sinker I was curious. I went to the store and bought some. I was a little afraid to try it though but OHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYY!!! Then, my husband tried it....... ok dude GET OFF MY BREAD! He will eat ANY bread so when I buy a specialty bread it should be left for me!!!!!! He can eat the other whole grain, 9 grain specialty crap that ONLY he will eat. I would not eat the LAST piece of his bread........ But oh, he did mine!!!!!
This bread IS delicious! I am making a special trip to the grocery store tonite just to get it..... no more store brand 89 cent bread ................ YUMM. What is the point of this blog posting- um , well theres none really. Other than I have found a slice of heaven in every slice of this oatmeal bread!!!!!
-m

Who's the diva now????



Ok- look at him? He is sooo cute and cuddly AND FAT!!!! My father lives by himself in a huge house. Well, not exactly alone...... he has (at the house) 2 umbrella cockatoos, 1 african grey, 1 quaker parrot, 2 white eyed conures, 1 fat black lab and 1 fat beagle. (This is in his house- not mentioning the birds, geese, ducks, goat, chickens or horses he houses out back.) Todays story is strictly about his beagle. A 7 yr old pain in the %$# male beagle LUCKY.

My dad is out of town right now. That being said, the internal animal care falls on me. That is fine, I love his animals........ BUT he is a bit strange when it comes to their "outside time" schedule, and eating habits. One of the morning routines is that he gets 5 pieces of all natural turkey meat, warms it in the microwave for these dogs for 5 seconds and feeds it evenly to them. (this goes back to his lab- she has serious internal issue of her own and the vet has put her on a weird human food diet. My dad firmly believes that you can not be special to one and ignore the other so Lucky gets all the perks of Babys illness too!)

Anyway- after our trip to the zoo on Sunday, Tristan and I decided that we would go over to my fathers house to go swimming in the pool. Realizing that I dont believe the same way my father does in how to feed his dogs, I take out the turkey meat that I had ignored giving them, to give them their snack. I AM NOT WARMING IT UP FOR THEM THOUGH! THEY ARE DOGS!!!!! I hand it over to the lab and she gobbles the pieces up I give her. I offer the same amount to Lucky and he turns his nose up to it. ALRIGHT THEN, BABY CAN HAVE HIS SHARE!

Today is Wednesday. It has been a few days since I have given them their turkey treat. I figure if its not gone in the least my father will notice and get upset that I didn't properly take care of his animals. ARGH!!!! I get the turkey out, and this morning, I do admit, I warmed it up for them. I give Baby hers, and she gobbles it up. The I proceed to offer some to Lucky- and he gobbles it up. Are you kidding me? I really have to warm this up for him? Who does he think he is? Who does he think I am? And what is my purpose in this world to him? To simply be his meat butler?

The fat as anything beagle pictured up top is not picky about anything....he will eat ANYTHING!!! But obviously not! Lesson learned (as I have always said) I understand when people allow their animals to adopt their childrens spot in their hearts, really I do. But when your animals train you -instead of the other way around, it is a bit ridiculous. I think I will be having me some turkey sandwiches for a few days for lunch!

-m

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Um what should I call this one?



"A bottle of red........ A bottle of white...... whatever kind of mood you're in tonite............... I'll meet you any time you want............ At our Italian Restaraunt"

Friday night, I had the opportunity to dine with a good friend of mine at a place I had never been to named "skewers". It is mediteranean food (greek) and oh soooo delish. We dined on yummy pita bread, and white rice, and I ordered a garlic chicken dish (you can never go wrong with anything douced in garlic) and she ordered Kafka (or rather hamburger) hers was not so delish. We enjoyed good food, great water, exceptional atmosphere, and delighted in the company we kept. It was a night of all nights. The conversation was one of intellect, as I try to always make it such with this particular friend becasue she IS an intellect- but she loves me anyway! There was a father daughter team sitting at the table behind us, and as they got up to leave she proceeded to ask "are we being too loud?" and the father quickly replied...."I was gonna ask you the same thing......"

Monday night, I had the opportunity to dine with another good friend of mine at yet another place I had never been to before named "island fish grill". It is a quaint little locals restarant that is home to a number of fresh fish dishes and probably Melbournes best ceasar salad. (No, seriously- that is how it is listed on their menu.) I dined on a steak and she on fish. To be honest though the conversation was so good and comical at times, that we could have been eating tar off the boardwalk and I don't think either one of us would have noticed. We discussed everything from past friends, to God, cars, drugs and death. It too was a night I will never forget. There was a party of 5 sitting next to us- a woman , her sister, her brother , and her two nieces....she asked "Are we being too loud?" we replied "We were gonna ask the same thing!"

There is something to be said about the dinner company you keep. In this day and age, it is far too easy to be and not really be alive. There is such a difference, and I am finding that more and more people are enjoying thier situations, making the most of them, and that are just happy to be alive. I know I am!!!

until next time

XO XO

-M

Monday, March 16, 2009

Another day in history..........



As everyone in America knows (well, ok, probbably in the world too) we, the American people sent up another shuttle yesterday evening. Normally I dont care about these, but for some reason I felt impelled to grab my whole family, go outside, wait patiently to see the smoke soaring through the sky and take pictures as it happened.

As I waited, I felt the urge to fight back tears. As much as I don't usually care about the lauches, I did last night. It was beautiful to me. We not only are sending up the american astronauts,we also are sending up an asian astronaut who will be dropped off to live in space for at least 6 months.............

When I heard a few months back that they will be shutting down the space program here soon, I was a little disturbed. Every time we send a shuttle up (and as we have been for decades) it is a piece of history............ how can we be ok with shutting it down? Yes I understand the expense that goes along side of it..............

Its a beautiful thing to be able to watch so close to home. I consider myself lucky to live close enough to be able to see it from my backyard..........................and to be able to feel it when they enter the atmosphere................

I don't know. Color me silly, but I believe few amazing things happen that we can be a part of............... Although not directly involved, I am grateful to have the opportunity to be a part of it.

-m

(wo) Man vs. the crocodile


It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon in sunny Florida. The sun is shining and it is 85 degrees outside. I decide to be a good mom and take my one and only child to the zoo for a day together for fun animal adventure. Tristan is all decked out is safari gear- his beige shorts, zoo camp tee shirt and his zoo camp safari hat tied all together with his binoculars around his neck. He picked out army green pants and white shirt for me and a Brevard Zoo hat to wear myself. We are ready to go on an adventure.
Knowing that it is hot outside, we also bring along his zoo camp water bottle full of icey water goodness!!!!!! Ready- Set- GO!!!!! Our day at the zoo begins with the newly remodled childrens center. Exploring the cave and making our way to the top to lower eggs into a birds nest and raise other eggs back up to the one where we were standing....... THAT was fun. It was the making it to that point that was, well, lets say a bit difficult for someone my height (and I am not a tall girl.) walking through the cave it is BLACK, PITCH BLACK. I can't see an inch in front of me but I am walking and BONK!!! I hit my head on the cave ceiling...... OMG that HURT!!!!!! Ok, I find my way out of the cave but I am up on top of it....AW crap TELL me there is another
way down....... nope. I have to go back through that cave......BONK AGAIN I hit my head....... OW!!!! Ok we are outside of this cave and I am not happy right now.... hy head is throbbing, I feel stupid as all get out.... why didn't I dunk you ask? Well because it is high enough for an average adult to walk through except at that one unsuspecting spot that I continuously bumped my head.
Tristan goes back in and yells to me "come on mom! " I simply look at him and say "Um, I will be right here- you go have fun....." But after a bit, long enough that he should have been up to the top and out again I venture back in to look for him. BONK AGAIN! same friggin spot on my head, same friggin spot on the cave ceiling........at this point I yell "tristan I told you I didnt want to come in here. I told you I am not short enough to do this LETS GO!!!!" ............ ok so here is the first NO that tristan ignored for the day...............what you may ask, does this have to do with a crocodile...well here goes......
We decide it is time to leave the zoo and to get out, you walk through the alligator/ crocodile display....... Tristan decided he wanted to cool the little fellow off by pouring his drinking water on to the back of the guy sunning himself directly under the protective wire..... and this guy was HUUUUUGE. I even had said "OMG Tristan look at the size of this guy- he's huge" SO, as my darling son is "cooling the big fella down, he drops his bottle into the display (after I had asked his to NOT do it about 5 times......and of course, all the parents around us are taunting me to get this for my child. Not to leave it there...... I wouldnt want to be a bad mom and have him leave without it now would I? Um, of course not- NO! So i reach my arm through the hole of the fence and grab the bottle.........Um, why did it fit IN but I seem to be having trouble getting it OUT? ARGH>>>>>>>>>>>Hence the SECOND no he ignored from me.
I have to do a finger to finger hole to hole move on this bottle which by the way finally succeeded in getting it up to the top for another by standing mother to reach over and grab it. Argh- all this with out even as much as a thank you from the boy who almost got me killed!!!! heeheeeeeeeeee

Saturday, March 14, 2009



Woo hooo its Saturday!!!!! No work!!! (well not for most- today there is for me) I am missing my sons soccer game to be here BUT THAT'S OK!!!!! I am still in a good mood. The sun can not decide if it wants to be out to shine or if it wants to hide behind the clouds so it can share the light with rain (which we so desperately need).

Today- I woke up, worked out, made breakfast for the clan and came in to work. I am playing servant to everyone who walks through those doors so I hope most of them share the good mood I am in today! I have had great cyber company thus far today and am looking forward to....... well nothing really. As long as I am alive, I am happy. Point being- happy Saturday yall!! Go make it great!!!

XO XO

-M

Friday, March 13, 2009

Take heed, take care


Todays inner bitch message reads: REMINDER- taking care of yourself first is not selfish, it's neccessary.
Why do you think they make you put your air mask on first on a plane?
Same principle applies to self maintainence. My husband has NO quarrels about me taking a day to go get my hair did, or my nails did, or even to get a massage. He knows that when I am feeling pretty, I act differently. It is ok to buy a new pair of shoes or a shirt, or any of the above when your feeling down because there is something to be said about matching your innerds to your outerds.
Yesterday my friends and I were divvying up the characters in Sex and the City amongst each of us and I for some weird reason got stuck being Carrie.......... (There are farrrr worse characters so I tended to stay quiet and do the fist to the air tuck YES silently) I like to think it was solely due to my creative writing abilities................
I was then also called a diva. Ok- so we are saying that I am a vain bitch diva who would not appear in the cast of survivor for the fear of breaking a nail, but I love to work with my hands and build stuff............ or fix stuff. Hmmmmm............. I grew up as a tomboy having only brothers so there is something to be said about my inner strength that I accumulated from that! Never the less, I am a girl. I ..... (oh crap theres that song again . wait- hold on -------hold it in , hold it back....nope can't.......do........ it...........................).ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Oh my goodness. Where DID that come from? Sorry!!!
Anyway- my point is, whether its taking a bath at night with scented candles and a good book. Whethers its splurging with the $25.00 in your wallet you should be paying the water bill with, whether its simply walking on the beach and taking in the glory God has givin you to see......... take time for yourself. Take heed of your surroundings. Take heed of your needs. And take care of yourself. This bitch does!!!!
XO XO
M OUT
***** michelle is in no way condoning the use of bill money to be spent unwisely ALL the time. This is in no way a connection to her thoughts, beliefs or actions.......... her point is simply TO TAKE CARE!!!! you'll be the better for it. A transcript of this message is available at 1800-i am sexy for only the low low cost os $1,235,352.24 per disc......

Thursday, March 12, 2009

AHHHH GRASSHOPPER!!!


A wise woman once said to me to dream of the person you would like to be is a waste of the person you are......
Another wise woman once said to me to love yourself first and everything else will follow..........
It is almost spring. The time of year when birds are chirping, butterflies are fluttering around and kids are out to play as the life on the earth just seems to get better with every passing day. Dont allow yourself to be victim of these economic times. Things are hard yes, but there is sooooo much to be thankful for. Poor human race- we are flat out being told to slow down and make life more simple. Don't beat yourself up for the things you cant have but enjoy what you do have.
-M

product review


It is a Sunday afternoon and I see an infomercial for Natural Advantage skin care system. I am not usually one to fall for infomercials, but this was a 5 piece anti aging total skin care set for less then $30.00......
Hell, I would spend that alone at the Clarins counter on one item so I figured I would give it a shot!!
I have now been using this product religiously as instructed for going on 3 weeks..........
Ok- how do I put this? My skin looks good,but it feels as though there is a fire UNDER the skin 24/7 whether theres make up on it or not
Especially around the eyes......(Yeah I know-NIIIIIIIICE!!)
So I call them and tell them I need to return the unused portion
for a full refund and to cancel my account. The person on the other side (a guy no less) proceeds to tell me that a burning sensation is normal due to the retinol in it. It takes between 6-8 weeks to go away. UM, not on MY face, near my eyes? Then the guy proceeds to
ask me "Is there any part of the system that is working for you?" I was like, "Um, well considering it is a 5 piece set that is used simultaneously every day- how do you determine which is working for you? I would like to return the unused portion for a full refund and cancel my account." He replies "Ok maam, I can offer you a 10% discount if you keep the items" I was thinking to myself why would I have called to tell them it was too strong for my skin, that I didnt like it and want to return it if I want to keep it?
I repeat "I would like to return the unused portion for a refund and cancel my account." He tells me next that I can recve a huge savings if I buy the mutli vitamin on sale today only for $1.98 when it is normally $21.99, Or that they are offering a great special on the clay mask TODAY ONLY! All I said back to him in my calmest of calm voices is "Sir, please listen to me. I dont like the product and your trying to upsell me on a return. I am sure the product is great for some women. I just dont happen to be one of them. I don't like the product- it's too harsh for my skin. I dont know what pieces do or dont work for me, I dont want to buy anything else at a discounted rate. I want to return the unused portion for a refund, and cancel my account PLEASE!"
Why was that so hard? Even as a consumer, we can't simply get what we WANT without the pushyness of having to have something else.............So, I have it here with me today, and I am sending it back....... I am not saying its not a great product. I can't even say I didn't like it. It simply doesn't work for me. But at that price, it was worth the shot!!!!!!
Till next time
xo xo
-M

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I don't have to be right....... but I am! (and so are you)



My girlfriends and I tend to use the word beautiful to describe one another when we greet each other from time to time.
My girlfriends and I have a habit of sending out a "song of the day" every day. Usually something to keep spirits lifted, or change a mood all together.
Todays song of choice is Good Morning Beautiful.
Penny sends it to me claiming " I LOVE TIM MCGRAW" while all the while I heard Blake Shelton in my head. I pass the comment on to my other posse and Kristi comes back "I thought that was Steve Holy"
At this point I go up on line and start looking it up. All three of them (among others) have in fact done this song. What I think is funny though, is that we all knew the SONG but each of us by a different artist..............It is the most beautifully written song. Any woman would melt if someone ever said the words of it to them : Good morning beautiful How was your night Mine was wonderful With you by my side And when I open my eyes And see your sweet face It's a good morning beautiful day.........................................
Ahhhhhhhhhh. So not only is it a beautiful song, but it is so much better when being repeated by a good looking piece of eye candy!!!!! Why though, do we not have such a song to reply with.................. MY HUMPS MY HUMPS MY LOVELY LADY HUMPS....... no that wouldnt be it, COME TO MY WINDOW, CRAWL INSIDE WAIT BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON ............ no. Once again I must fall back to Olivia Newton John..........I love you I honestly love you I honestly love you. (don't ask- it just fits)
What better way then to be simple about it........... ? So, for all the world to see---- Lance, I am calling you out just to say I love you I honestly love you I honestly love you......
Til next time
-smooches xo xo

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Why does Betsy Ross come to mind?


Todays inner bitch message is : Dress up like your favorite historical bitch and make some noise. Um- NO! When I read that I instantly thought Betsy Ross. (Don"t know why) but WHY? WHY Betsy Ross? Next in line of mind is Joan of Arc- There, THERE RIGHT THERE is a historical bitch of merrit. I gotta say I would probably have been her in a past life. Martarism and all!!!


Wait-, then theres Marie Antoinette who was tried, convicted of treason and executed by guillotine on 16 October 1793. And Queen Elizabeth a short-tempered, sometimes indecisive ruler, who enjoyed more than her share of luck. Towards the end of her reign, a series of economic and military problems weakened her popularity to the point where many of her subjects were relieved at her death.

But what about the ones people dont really know about:Alice Paul (1885-1977) - The woman who rescued the woman suffrage movement (1910) and made sure women got the vote. Maria Mitchell (1818-1889) - Astronomer and professor at Vassar College. First female member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences. Sojourner Truth (Isabella Baumfree) (1797-1883) - African-American abolitionist, Civil War nurse, suffragette. Mae West (1892-1980) First to earn a million dollars in the movie business.

Among so many others, these ladies have done soooo much for women in todays america. So the point I am trying to make is - a great friend of mine replied to this in such a way that I loved. She said that she was her own favorite american bitch! So, there you have it! be your own best friend and everything else will follow. Great words of advise from a great woman!! I am glad I know her!

Monday, March 9, 2009

Inner peace and relaxation.........topped off with some snoring!!!



My girlfriend Penny and I went to an ashram yesterday for some simple yoga and meditation. It was a 3 hour class called "dancing with the breath". We both were a bit confused as to what exactly we were gonna do for 3 hours........ but let me tell you, the time flew by and we were amazed.

You see, she has been looking for a sense of spirituality. There is a huge difference between religion and spirituality. Yesterday proved that to me. I decided I needed to go, as the class stated it would show you how to handle EVERY aspect of EVERY day through proper breathing.

Did you know that an average person uses only 20-35% of their lung capacity when breathing. Most people hold their breath quite regularly for whatever reason. Yesterdays workshop was to show us how to be aware of our breathing patterns and to see how much different we felt at the end compared to the beginning. True it was!!! VERY true!

I have always used my diaphram when breathing since I sing, but Penny was getting light headed.......... The little Italian man who was teaching the class said it was because her system is used to housing more carbon dioxide (which is the toxin that is released, when you breath out) and not enough oxygen (which is brought in as you breath in).

In finding your own spiritual place, you need to learn to be still. As I have said before, and no matter who your praying to. BE STILL. I never understood how to do that without my mind taking over............. I do now though.

We did these Tai Chi breathing moves that honestly just felt good to do. (Once again I will refer to a movie.......OK- So I watch a lot of T.V. !!! ) The movie Roadhouse with Patrick Swayze........ One morning he wakes up early and you see him in the sun rise light, next to a lake, doing these "martial arts " moves. After yesterdays class I have recently deducted that he was breathing to start the day.

I honestly am amazed at how relaxed I was.........We spent the last hour on our backs, eyes closed, invisioning our breath working its way through our body. If you SEE it moving you can actually FEEL it. But my mind wandered a bit when the person to the left of me started snoring. And then yet another person somewhere near the front of the classroom started snoring...... And then another a little more close to me......It was like an epidemic of nasal sound!!!

When we all "woke up" and started moving again, I could honestly feel myself weigh about 10 pounds lighter........like I was floating on a cloud...........

If you have ever wondered about yoga breathing and proper techniques, take a class somewhere- IT WAS AMAZING!!!!

thats it for now....

-M

Friday, March 6, 2009

The drunken food critic


Ok, so last night my hubby & I went down town on our own 1 "date night" to get some dinner. (Desert would come later if I can get the batteries from someone who has them charging- and I am NOT pointing fingers-BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!)
Anyway, we ended up at a place called Matts Casbah.
We sit down and start looking at the menu options........ Appetizer: One Tuna Tostada. I honestly thought I was walking through the pearly gates it was so good. I had the same reaction that Bill Murray did in the movie "What About Bob" when he was invited to stay at his therapists house for dinner and with every bite he would go "MMMMMMMMMMMMM" or "AHHHHHHHH" "WOW" You know, it seemed like a very erotic pleasure the way he was reacting. THAT is how I felt with that tostada. Imagine if you will, a light corn round topped with seared tuna, avocado, tomatos, cilantro and some mango mayo sauce......... It was sooooooooo delish!!!!!! (thank you Kris for teching me how to enjoy my food, and thank you the realization that smoking causes cancer for making me quit smoking so that I now CAN taste it and enjoy it!!)
I ordered to drink a glass of red wine. (The new meal plan I am on states you should have a glass of red wine every night with dinner as it helps prevent heart disease-the #1 killer in women) SO I DID. I dont know what kind of wine it was, but the one glass I had left me feeling it!!!! Back to my story. I am drinking my wine and enjoying the basket of pita bread and my tostada and awaited my main course. A lime chile covered garlic roasted pompano whole fish. Did you catch that? Cause I surely didn't..... I ordered a WHOLE FISH. heeeeeee heeeeeeeeee
The waiter brings us our food and I swear he placed an entire serving platter in front of me....... I asked him if he really could have found a bigger dish becasue it was just too small. Hee giggled, I giggled,,,,,,,,, I thought it was an ingenius comment to make at that point. Now looking back I am thinking it was the wine talking........... I looked down at my dinner and wanted to cry. (see figure A posted above)
I am staring down this fish. Head. Tail. Fins. The whole friggin fish. I honestly did not know how to eat it....... I take my fork and just start ripping through it. It too I must say was excellent. My husband wont eat fish and HE liked it. OK- so I am done with side one and look at Lance "Do I flip it over on this plate by its tail? I really don't know how to eat it." He looks at me, looks at the fish and simply replies "GO FOR IT."
off point for a second- sometimes, don't you LOVE to be underdressed. To play a role of the backwoods no class person that everyone looks at while their eating, in disgust. The girl who laughs the loudest and always wears jeans? YUP THAT WAS US!!!! It was a trip!!!!
So, I flip this fish over and begin scraping away at side two......... MMMMMMMM just as good as side one. The combo of the lime, and the garlic on such a mild.....eck....eckkk..... blech...eck eck I start gaging. Literally GAGGING. I thought I was gonna throw up right there at the table........ There was a hair bone floating around in my mouth that i couldnt find....... You know that feeling when theres a hair in your mouth you just cant get to....it makes you gag.... YUP. NOT only are we in jeans and laughing loudly at our on little conversation- i spit this bite of fish out into my napkin, take it out of the napkin and pile it under the head of the fish like his very own little self pillow...... I sure hope he appreciated it.
I even named him Ted. Before I ate I thanked ted for dying for me. And let him know it was much appreciated!!!!!
So there you go, my review of last nights dinner. Hair bone details and all.........
till next time
xo xo
M OUT

Thursday, March 5, 2009

my support group!!!











Now would be the perfect time of the evening for me to introduce my band!!!!! These ladies are working hard every day of their lives to make me look good so here weeeeeeeeeeeeeee gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
boom booom booooom laaaaa laaaaaa (ladies keep it strong )
The lovely lady just next to me is my very own slice of heaven PENNY!!!!!! coming to you from PALM BAY!! Tonite she is playing the supporting instrument of my head, without which i would not be able to be here in front of all of you entertaining the masses....Give it up PENNY!!!!
next in line is the darlings of the night...Kath (coming to you from the west coast!! playing the supporting instrument of my conscience- my nerd mascot and maintainer of gross health concoctions and exercise stories!!!! Thanks to her I have learned to work hard for a big pay off but to be a friend to myself and everything else will work itself out!!!!!! holla at ya gal!) and Kris -coming to you from Satellite beach and playing the integral part of the pallat!!!!
( the dietician and chef!!!! thanks to her I am learning to enjoy the food I eat! I like to think of her as my own little rat chef ratitoulli (sp) holla HOLLA!!) and last, but surely not least...... hanging around us all from out of state!!! Playing the part of my alter ego Bethany!!! (her name is really Buffy- dont let her threats scare you!!! she changed her name for the sake of this story and to protect the innocent while in Austria.) This one shows me daily what it means to be silly. To release everything I hold in and to just be. LIVE and smile!!! hands to the RRROOOOOFFFFFFFF!!!! woot woot!!!!
yay- ok repeat after me WE ARE FAMILY!!! I GOT ALL MY SISTAS & ME!!!!!
A 1... A 2..... 1..2..3..4...................
YOU ONLY GET JUST ONE TIME AROUND
YOU ONLY GET ONE SHOT AT THIS
ONCE CHANCE, TO FIND OUT- THE ONE THING YOU DONT WANNA MISS
ONE DAY WHEN ITS ALL SAID AND DONE
I HOPE YOU SEE THAT IT WAS ENOUGH
THIS ONE RIDE
ONE TRY
ONE LIFE
TO LIVE..................................................
Thank you goodnight!!!! I will be here til friday, dont forget to tip your waitresses......thanks for coming!!!!
annoucner: M has left the building!!!!