We are soooo much alike....

Pictured in this picture is the cast of the Godfather..... As pictured here are:

Michael Corleone(youngest brother-most responsible and caring), Vito Corleone (the father), Sonny Corleone (oldest brother-hot tempered, thought of no one but himself) and Fredo Corleone (middle brother- really the black sheep due to his ignorance.)

I am Italian. More so, I am Sicilian which means I take my familia ties VERY serious. My father and I love the trilogy of the Godfather. No, not because we have any mafioso ties, but simply because we can relate. Let me break this down for you.........

I am the youngest. My name is Michelle (or Michael as we refer to me in my family) and I am and always have been the glue that holds my family together. (The roles of my brothers have been switched) Next in line is the middle son, Steve (or Sonny). He is such an ass hole. He is married, has two YOUNG daughters and lives his life for himself ONLY. Then there is my oldest brother Ron. (we call him Fredo) as he is such a simple man. Very naive. Very much NOT a part of the family businesses...........

Now, if you know anything about the Godfather movies the roles of each child is VERY well layed out for each character....... This story alone is about my Sonny (Steve).

My mother died- he went hunting in Georgia because he "had to be with God". Leaving me (the youngest) to plan and pay for the funeral of our mother. When he came back for the funeral, he had the nerve to tell me the song choices were too emotional for him and his wife and I wasn't allowed to use the list of songs I chose. At that point I didn't care as he high tailed it out of town and didn't help.

That is not a build out for this story, just a point on his selfish ways........

As you watch the trilogy, you see the relation between Michael and Sonny at its highest. Sonny feels it is his calling to protect Michael from the world that he is not allowed to be a part of. Sonny does it well, until ultimately Michael is forced into the lifestyle he never wanted, to clean up his brothers messes, as he is the only one with any compassion, common sense or sense of loyalty to anyone other than himself. Throughout the entire trilogy, Michael is forced to do things he doesn't want to solely to protect what his father had created. (That Sonny's selfishness had put in danger so many times)

Yesterday was Easter Sunday. I had invited my brother and his family over for breakfast and he refused to come. He always refuses to come. He is so selfish that he takes no part in our family events unless he feels there is something in it for him. I won't tell you about the conversation we had between church and my house over the phone. Suffice it to say he must have felt bad because he did make it a point to come over with his oldest daughter to do baskets between our kids. ( I am gonna start crying as this next part is burned into my head. I do not think I will ever forget seeing it) I can't remember what all I saw, or what all happened. I am finding out though that more of what I thought was not actual reality. That is the hardest pill to swallow.

I walked by him, he fell down (not because I walked by him just really BAD timing), he hit his head, he had a seizure.He had no clue as to who any of us were or where he was or what he remembered. The ambulance came and took him away....... He got better, had had another seizure. He cant move. He is told to allow the staff at the hospital to put a nicotine patch on him, since he shouldn't get out of bed to go smoke. He refuses. He is told to stay in his bed. He gets up to go to the bathroom. He is scared to go to sleep as he has little seizures in his sleep. He gets pissy because of what is happening to him. He gets angry and yells at me and his wife as we tell him to stay in bed. His friend comes to see him. He gets out of bed and goes down stairs and has a cigarette. HE HAS BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC AND FEELS ENTITLED. He is an ass.

In the movie, the first one to die is Sonny. Because he is hot headed and doesn't listen to anyone. Hence he gets ambushed and killed MUCH before his time. I am afraid for my Sonny. He WILL be the first to die. I already miss him..........

Today Vito called Michael and told him to fix Sonny as he feels he no longer can. Michael simply replied that Sonny doesn't care so he no longer does either. Vito is left heart broken.........

The only thing I don't have that Michael had in the movie was a strong poker face. He never allowed his emotions to get the best of him......... I always do.

I got proof yet again, yesterday, that God does in fact exist. He had not been at my house 3 minutes when this all happened. Had he left his house 5 minutes later than he did, he would have gotten into a car accident. Possibly hurting himself, his daughter or someone else. He was at my house. Our father was there. He wasn't at home somewhere out in the back yard where he usually spends his time, or away from people. He was with people who took care of him right then and there. But the worst thing about all of this is while he was being treated in the emergency room, he had a second episode. He doesn't remember any of either of them. He doesn't care about the fact that we are all traumatized by the vision of someone we love going through all of that and us not being to help him. It was, and still is far worse is my head as I play it over and over again trying to figure it out, than it actually ended up being. (aside from the seizures....)

He doesn't remember any of it, so technically, he doesn't care. He will go back to doing what he does, how he does it without any consideration for those of us around here that will never forget. We will have to watch him die because he is too selfish to change.

Please don't get me wrong. He is my favorite person on the face of the earth. We are closer than white on rice. I love him very much but hate him very much at the same time.

I was hoping that in writing this, I could release it and have closure to the situation. One can only hope it works...........

Until next time (please be praying for my brother and his family)

-M